Something that every mum (and dad) goes through at some stage or another…..that feeling that we aren’t doing enough for our child or we are leaving them unnecessarily in the hands of day-care while we go back to the working life (After all isn’t this what we fought for with feminist rights that we could go back to work and not be tied to the house with 10 kids in tow while the husband is the main breadwinner? ). I never thought I would be one to have mum guilt, I still recall saying to everyone that I would be back at work within 6 months full time and that Sienna would be in day-care fulltime and I would be fine with it. So, turns out I got all maternal (yes who would have thought!) and grew pretty attached to my little bundle of joy (and tears)!
Now I am by no means being forced back to work. I actually chose to go back 2 months early on a part time basis as I could feel myself returning to my introverted roots and cocooning myself in my home while growing more and more unmotivated to do any form of work. Really the mum guilt is also partly guilt at putting myself first instead of my daughter even though she will only be in care a few days a week at most.
The reality is, although I cried when dropping her off this morning, and have thought about her non-stop during the day she is fine. She is fed, napped and playing with other kids which is helping her development but I can’t shake that feeling that deep down I am letting her down and abandoning her. I guess this is the curse that most mums live with but deep down we also realise that we are showing our children what it is to pursue our own interests, dreams and goals which often involve sacrifice and hard work….
So, hats off to all the working mums and dads out there that suffer from mum/dad guilt…. I now know the feeling 😦